Ah, the cancer survivor's support group: bastion of soothing consolation, where we welcome into the fold our fellow diseased friends and ferry them -- no matter where they may be on their journey with illness -- into the warm bosom of our shared experiences, our deepest fears, our hard-won joys, and our fragile yet exquisite hopes.

With this in mind, we kindly ask that you not say things such as, or approximating, the following:

"I truly believe that everything happens for a reason. We all have this disease for a reason. Some things are meant to be."

"Well, I've got Stage IIA breast cancer, so I'm nowhere near as bad off as the rest of you."

"It's so much worse for the young people. I'm old. I've lived my life. But you're just starting, and now look at you."

On a similar note, if you are a cancer support group facilitator we kindly ask that you not attempt to engage your diseased minions, when they stare at you wild- and wide-eyed in rapt attention as they wait for guidance and direction, by inviting a response to the following:

"So, folks, how DO we deal with this whole death thing?"

Further, please refrain from this sentiment:

"Not that I really know what you are talking about, because I have never had cancer myself."

And finally, in response to a loss of one of our own, as a consolation, this is the last thing we want to hear from you:

"Well, we knew she was going to die for a long time."

Your cooperation is greatly appreciated.
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Jessica Cauchi died of ovarian cancer in 2005.
Support groups can be found through the Wellness Community http://www.thewellnesscommunity.org/